Episode 1: Caffine plus Gondorian Equals Chaos...
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Whew, so here's the start of the Grove as we know it. The basic idea evolved when I joined a thread in my LOTR forum where you "clone" various characters. So what I did was clone the Boys and we used a bit of Inkheart-esque magic to move to the Elven Grove: under a mallorn near Rivendell where they Boyz live inside/above. Lots of rooms, alot like Rivendell because that's my LOTR home, a pond and stream, modern conviences that I've added. They guys now all talk, and you can see their personalities evolve. This episode is famous for the Dew Rant... poor Boromir... Oh yeah, the "nicknames" are courtsey of a great fanfic called The Married Life: Faramir and Eowyn after the War.
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::Lomiothiel steps back into the Grove::
Sigh...Eru I'm exhausted!
::Haldir walks over to her::
Umm...Lomiothiel? We kinda have a small problem...
What now? Did you put Scope in Legolas' Shampoo again?
::Haldir shakes his head::....
NO!!! That wasn't me anyway, that was Gil-Galad. He thinks elves have gotten poncier since the Second Age.. No..umm... it's Boromir actually..
Sigh... did he loose his horn again? I told him not to try to use it as a fishing net...
::Haldir starts to laugh at the memory of the failed fishing attempt::
Uh, no not that good...he kinda got into your Mountain Dew stash... we told him to stop but now.. umm...yeah, I think you better come see...
Oh this can't be good...
Lomiothiel and Haldir walk over to the back of the large mallorn tree and find Boromir chasing Eomer around the glade, pantless, blowing his horn at full blast as Gil-Galad laughs uncontrollably..
What in the name of the Valar are you doing, Boz?
::Boromir stops instantly...turns around.... and charges at Lomiothiel at full speed. Before the elf has time to react, she is picked up in a monsterous bearhug, being swung around in circles::
LOMI!!!I'M-SO-GLAD-YOU'RE-BACK-WE-WERE-PLAYING-AND-LEGOLAS-LOST-AND -I-WON-CUZ-I'M-THE-BEST-CAPTAIN-OF-GONDOR-AND-NOW-EOMER-IS-TRYING-TO -GET-AWAY-BUT-I-TOLD-HIM-THAT-THERE'S-NO-PANTS-IN-GONDOR-SO-HE-BETTER- GIVE-THEM-UP-AND LOOK-I-DIDN'T-LOOSE-MY-HORN-THIS-TIME-AND- DO-YOU-HAVE-ANY-MORE-DEW?
Lomi tries to squeeze out of his embrace, most unsuccessfully.
ERRRGHHH...Okay Boz, I can't breathe! Okay okay...now what did you just say?
::Boz takes a deep breath::
I'M-SO-GLAD-YOU'RE-BACK-WE-WERE....
NO NO, I got that part...Did you drink all my Mountain Dew?
::Boromir shakes his head yes::
Why the heck did you do that? You know you'll be up all night!
::Boromir gets a silly grin on his face::
Oh no, don't you get any ideas mister...wait.... where's Legolas?
At this, Gil-Galad finally looses his elven composure and falls to the ground laughing. Eomer, who has just started to catch his breath, points behind Lomi. She turns around and there is Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood...caught like a jack-rabbit in a snare hanging from a limb of the mallorn tree. He is obviously not happy...
Leggie, what the hell are you doing up there?!
::Legolas starts his famous elven-pout, folding his arms on his chest::
Well, I'm not going to tell you if you're going to laugh at me...
I won't laugh I prom...stop it Gil! Seriously, dear, tell me what happened.
::
Well I came back here to find my arrows so I could go hunting and all of a sudden I'm flying throught the air...
::Gil interjects::
WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE!!IT'S THE FLYING PRICE OF MIRKWOOD HERE FOR A ONE TIME ENGAGEMENT STEP RIGHT...
::Legolas::
LLLLLoooooommmmeeeeeeee...make him stop!!!
EREINON GIL-GILAD HIGH KING OF THE NOLDOR!! Knock it off or no Jenga later!
::Gil-Galad::
::eep::
Go on Legolas...
::Legolas sighs and continues::
Well then I'm up here and I don't know why and Boz comes tearing out at me trying to throw that damned shield of his at the rope to cut me down! Hit me in the head and now I've got a bump!! ELVES DON'T GET BUMPS!!
::pouts::
Then Eomer came out and told him to stop because he was disrupting the ping pong tournament and he started yelling something about Pants in Gondor and he told Eomer it was folly and started to chase him and Gil's just laughing at me and no one will GET ME DOWN FROM HERRE!!!!!
Okay okay, don't start to whine you big baby! Geezz... Haldir, hon, please get him down...
::Haldir smiles and obliges::
Okay, if you say so....
He then whips out an arrow and before Lomi can stop him, shoots down Legolas in one shot. Leggie hits the ground head first...
::OWWWW!! HHHHAAAAAALLLLLL!!!! You're such a jerk!!! I'm glad you died!!::
Legolas unties his foot and runs into the house to pout.
HAL, that was not necessary!! Boz, stop it!! No, this isn't Gondor... there are pants here!! Don't make me get Aragorn!!
::Boromir stops at the King's name and glares at Lomi::
FINE-JERK-TOOK-MY-BRACERS-THINKS-CUZ-HE'S-KING-HE-CAN-DO-WHATEVER- THE-HELL-HE-WANTS-BUT-GONDOR-HAS-NO-KI...
::Eomer has had enough::
Alright that's it.
He grabs Boz's horn and runs past Gil-Galad blowing it at full blast.
:TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOT::
::Boromir starts to chase him::
HEY-THAT'S-MINE-GIVE-IT-BACK-YOU'RE-GOING-TO-GET-YOUR-NASTY- HORSE-KISSING-ROHAN-SPIT-ON-IT!!!
As he runs past, Gil-Galad trips him and as Boz falls to the ground, jumps on top of him and sits on him. In full elven armour, this is quite a heavy load.
::Boromir::
::ERRRMMMPHHUMMPH::
It's no use Boz, you know Gil's armor is twice as heavy as yours...
::Boromir::
::MMMPHMPPHMPH!!::
::Gil-Galad's jaw drops::
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME HIS ROYAL CHUBBIKINS!! I am not fat, I am in battleshape Mister Beer-Belly of Gondor!
::Gil gives and extra hop on Boz who is now face deep in dirt::
Okay okay... Hal, will you and Eomer get him up...go... I don't know...lock him in the bathroom or something until this wears off...Don't forget to remove the shaving cream before you lock it... I do not need a repeat of the shavingcream bikini episode... took a week to clean that mess up..
::Eomer smiles::
Oh oh!!!Can I tie him and gag him?!
No, don't... Oh I don't care...
::Eomer does his best Homer Simpson WOOHOO!!::
Haldir and Eomer gather up Boz from underneath the Noldorian King and drags him into the house, kicking and protesting..
::Boromir::
NONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONOONONONONOOOOOOO IDONWAANNNAAA!!!::
Uhhh...I need excedrin...how the hell have you guys not gotten killed...err..or rekilled by now?
::Gil-Galad comes over and gives Lomiothiel a great big elven hug::
Well, you did stop Legolas from shooting Boz in the groin last week, so that's a start!
::He gives her a kiss on the forehead::
Oh don't you try to be cute mister... you weren't helping matters any! You're an instigator!
::Gil looks indignant::
I couldn't help it! Haldir was laughing too before you got here! He even called the hobbits and Gimli so they could hear Legolas crying... ha... Elven warrior my great dead ass. He wouldn't have lasted a day in the field! Hmph...Come on...admit it... it was kinda funny to see him hanging upside-down crying like a little hobbit-girl!
Well...he can be a bit of a git, now can't he...and I thought Eomer was whiny...
::A high elven voice comes from an upstairs room::
I HEARRRRDDD THHHHAAATTT!!! I'm telling Eomer you called him whiny... and I am not a git!! AHHHHH!!!I have a spot!!!!
Lomi and Gil head inside to officiate said Ping-pong tournament, already in progress. The loser has to let Boromir out in the morning...

