Episode 5: Not the Same Kind of Elves!

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These are getting more self explanitory now. More crossover, it's just fun. As well as more explanations...
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Lomiothiel walks into the Grove, completely exhausted, and starts up the path.

::Lomiothiel::
Dammit...stupid Hati... stupid penmanship... Not my fault I thought it said stir until bubbling... I wonder if this potion will work. She better go bribe Snape or something if it doesn't... ewww... with what? Oh bad thought bad thought...

Lomiothiel walks up to the door, where she hears a large commotion going on inside. She quickly hides the invisibility cloak from Hati and stashes the potion in her bag.

::Lomiothiel walks inside::
Sigh... what now.

Eomer and Haldir are sitting in front of the computer, laughing hysterically, which is never a good sign. Legolas and Gil-Galad, apparently over their uhem... ailments, are watching the television.

::Lomi::
What is going on here? You're laughing and that's never a good sign for me...UMMPH!!!

::Boromir attacks Lomi from behind in a huge Gondorian bear-hug::
WELCOME BACK!! LOOK LOOK LOOK!!! We CLEANED!

::Lomi looses herself from the over-zealous bear hug::
Uh...okay...uh...that's great Boz... wait what?

::Eomer::
Hal, Boz and I cleaned up while you were gone. The lightweights were upstairs all day.

::Legolas::
Hey, shut up! You are the one who was egging me on! 'Oh...look at the elvish princeling...cannot drink as much as a KING!' Stupid Eomer.... I outta hide your sword again...cries like a baby...

::Eomer::
What was that?

::Legolas::
Oh you shall see...

::Lomi::
Okay...so anyway... you guys feeling okay? Gil?

::Gil-Galad looks a bit pink::
yeah... i guess... stupid Haldir...

::Lomi:
Did it come off?

::Gil-Galad::
Most of it... but I mean it, he better stay away from me for a while or he will think Helm's Deep was Disney World...

::Haldir::
Hey....Lomi, tell him to stop teasing me about dying. He will not give up.

:Lomi:
Where have I hear that before...Gil, you were dead too you know.

::Gil-Galad::
At least I died at the hands of the Dark Lord! Not some stupid henchman orc... letting himself get distracted by Aragorn... honestly, how did you protect Galdriel for so long... must be Rumil...idiot.

::Lomiothiel, seeing Haldir start to get up from the computer::
Okay enough, I mean it. So who cleaned what so I know who to yell at.

::Eomer looks hurt::
Hey, we did a good job... although....

::Lomi::
What?

::Haldir::
Well, I did not EXACTLY know how to use the dryer... but it was not all my fault! Legolas messed up the settings when he tried to turn it into a ClubMed or something.

::Legolas::
Sure, blame it on me. You are the idiot who goes "well hot equals clean".

::Haldir::
No that was Boromir...stupid men...

::Boromir::
Okay, hot does equal clean, seriously! Not my fault you put the clothes in hot water and in the dryer. I mean, hey we can just buy new stuff with Eomer's RidderMarkExpress...

::Lomi::
You shrunk the clothes!!

::Haldir::
Not all of them...well some of them... well okay, mine and Boz's and Eomer's... and some of yours....I am sorry...

::Lomi::
Sigh... I guess it's okay...hey...why is the rug wet?

::Boromir::
Well... I don't know... the dishwasher went crazy. You know, we do not have these things in Gondor...

::Gil-Galad::
You also do not have indoor toliets, but you still make sure not to go on the carpet.

::Boromir::
Haha... very funny... You are more fun when you are drunk, you know that?

::Lomi::
Um, the rug guys?

::Boromir::
Oh right, well I could not find any soap and Hal says it is not the same as laundry soap...

::Lomi::
Right...oh stop beaming Haldir, you've made enough clothes to wardrobe all my action figures, with your prowess...hmm... action figures clothes...

::Haldir::
What?

::Lomi::
Nothing...so continue Boz... wet?

::Boromir::
So, I asked Eomer and he said it was under the sink. But I guess I used too much because it started shooting out the dishwasher door and then out the sink drain, which was kinda cool and Minas Morgul-esque...

::Lomi walks over to the sink and looks under it::
Sigh... Boromir... can you read?

::Boromir, quite indignantly::
OF COURSE I CAN READ!

::Lomi::
Well did you notice in big letters how it says do not use in dishwashers. This is regular dish soap, you have to use special dishwasher soap, this one here... labeled DISHWASHER SOAP... no wonder. So what did you do?!

::Eomer laughs and answers quietly::
We used Gil-Galad's shield to scoop up all the suds and put them in the sink. They went away after a while... then Haldir used his cloak to soap up the rug...hehe... serves him right, the git.

::Lomi::
Sigh... well...I guess it's the thought that counts... wait, what did you clean up, oh King of the Mark?

::Eomer::
I cleaned up the bathrooms and I did a fantastic job, thank you Miss Doubting-Elven. Every inch, polished to a shine... hehe...

::Lomi, not convinced::
Uh huh..........wait........

::Eomer starts to smirk::

::Lomi::
Oh you did not! Eomer! Why must you start things?! You're going to buy Haldir a new toothbrush right this instant... I can't believe you two...

::Eomer::
That is okay, I can find it online.

::Lomi places her things in the closet::
Oh no, I told you no more internet shopping. No more! Honestly, I don't know how you guys manage to do it, but you're always causing trouble. Maybe it's something in the cloning process..... what are you doing?

::Haldir and Eomer are both fumbling for a spot at the computer::

::Haldir & Eomer::
Nothing!

::Lomiothiel::
Sigh... give it up you two... stop snickering Boromir, you have such a dirty mind!

::Lomiothiel walks over to the computer and pushes them away from the screen::
No, I told you no more eBay....wait... oh for Eru's sake, have you been bidding on this 'Greasy Potions Master'?! Wait a tic.... "SiriuslyHansome721 ".. oh crap... You guys have been bidding on Severus Snape?! I told you no more eBay!

::Haldir::
Well we were curious what it was, so we looked it up on the internet. Did you know they are like, wizards?! But not like Saurman...well kinda like them sometimes....I guess this one is like Sauron, but not an eye but he was a turban or something... I thought our stories were confusing sometimes...

::Lomi::
I am well aware of them dear, but that is not the point. You guys are as bad as Maurauders sometimes, you never listen. Thank Illuvatar you can't do spells... sigh... now stop that...

::Eomer::
But we're winning.

::Lomi::
Oh no you're not. I'm cancelling all your bids.... oh how cute 'KingOfRidderMark' ... money not ponies dear...money not ponies...

::Eomer::
I KNOW! I am not stupid... I got it the first time, but I forgot to change my currency type...gotta remember that for next time...

::Lomi starts to cancel all of the bids::
Oh geez, Haldir, not you too! NotDeadHaldir13? Sigh... you should know better Mister Guardian of Lothlorien. I swear.... $1150? Let the crazy fan-girls bid on him... or I'll sell you two! I have suspicion that would be a nice profit.

::Eomer::
You would sell us? ::sniff sniff::

::Lomi::
Oh stop it, I'm not falling for it, HorseMaster.

::Eomer::
Dammit... worth a try. Sigh...not even one bid?

::Lomi::
NO! Go watch TV with the boys and behave... I can't believe you bid against each other.

::Boromir::
They thought if they won him you would not be mad at them...err us anymore.

::Lomi::
Well lucky I find it hard to stay mad at you guys, but don't make me test that theory again. Now I have to work on my homework, so no funny business... that means no more ebay or iTunes boys.

::Legolas::
Awww.... but I want that new Green Day song! They have a good name, if you know what I mean.

::Lomi::
Yes, Captain Obvious...I get it.

::Gil-Galad::
Hey Lomi, question?

::Lomi, busily deleting Haldir and Eomer's bids::
Yes, Gil?

::Gil-Galad::
Umm... why does this pirate look like Legolas?

::Legolas::
Oh he does not, get off it! Gil has been commenting all day on this Turner guy, but I fail to see the resemblance. I am much prettier than he is.

::Lomiothiel::
You're watching my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD?

::Gil-Galad::
Well it was here...now seriously, is this another clone thing because he looks just like Legolas here...

::Legolas::
NO HE DOES NOT!! LOMI.... tell Gil that I am 'one of a kind'... ::big smile::

::Lomi::
well... ::blush:: yes you are dear, but umm... oh how to explain...

::Gil-Galad::
Cuz he has his eyebrows too... if you would just dye them to match your hair...

::Legolas::
I DO NOT DYE MY HAIR, KING OF THE NERDOS!!

::Gil-Galad::
You're so poncy, you know that. In my day....

::Boromir::
Geez, you sound like my dad... 'Oooooh... Elrond wants you to go to his council meeting... oohh in my day a son listened to his father and king...ohhh... go get me the mighty gift, my son".... Shoulda have gotten him a George Foreman Grill instead... stupid ring... stupid fellowship.... stupid quest.

::Lomi tries not to laugh::
Haha... okay okay... you're cloned movie versions, so therefore if the actor who played you is in another movie, you'd look similar. Got it?

::Legolas::
Well right... but what if you cloned us from the books instead?

::Lomi::
Well, you'd look the same because Peter Jackson has peverted my sense of reality... not that I mind too much, because you're all gorgeous. Of course, Haldir wouldn't be dead and Legolas would spout more poetry, but hey, beggers can't be choosers..

::Gil-Galad::
So then these pirates...are they kinda like Corsairs?

::Lomiothiel::
Well...sorta... I guess... yes.... yes they are.

::Eomer::
Cool!! Look they have an Army of the Dead too!!

::Lomiothiel::
I never noticed that similarity, but yes, yes they do. Maybe if you're good we will watch Harry Potter sometime.

::Haldir::
Harry Potter? What the Mordor is that? Sounds silly...

::Lomiothiel::
Well it can be if you let Mea, Prosp and Hati near it... no I take that back. It's just as silly as you guys living in the Grove.

::Legolas::
Well, that is not silly.

::Lomiothiel::
Of course it's not.... of course elves there are servants, but..

::Elves::
WHAT?!!!!!!!

::Lomi::
Well they're not REAL elves... they're more like elfs. You know the Christmas kind... Kinda like if dwarves and and elves had babies...

::Gil-Galad::
Oh that is disgusting...

::Lomi::
Read some fanfiction some time and you'll see how disgusting it can be.

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Done for now... be back when my homework allows it... gotta test that potion ;)

Best read The Inkheart Potion Chronicles if you don't want to be confused...see what me and my icons started...